Spike's Trunk > Quotes

QUOTES

From School Hard
"If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there, it would've been like Woodstock."

"You know what I find works real good with Slayers? Killing them ... Oh, yeah, I did a couple Slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. Oh, who am I kidding -- I *love* to brag."

"Me and Dru, we're moving in."

From Halloween
"This is just ... neat"

"Baby likes to play."

From Lie To Me
"Do I have anyone on watch here? It's called security, people. Are you all asleep? evil grin Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?"

From What's My Line
"Some people find pain ... very inspirational."

"But ... the Order of Teraka. Isn't that overkill?" Studious Vamp
"No. I think it's just enough kill."

"By George, I think he's got it!" doing a Michael Caine impression

"Talk and I'll have your guts for garters."

"What are you gonna do with him?" Willy
"I'm thinking, maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know."

"My black goddess." to Dru

"Aren't you a throw-himself-to-the-lions sort of sap these days. Well, the lions are onto you, baby."

"Now we just let them come to a simmering boil and remove to a low flame." about the Dru and Angel ritual

"...another five minutes though and Angel will be dead, so I forbear. Don't feel too bad for Angel, though, he gets something you don't."
"What's that?" Buffy
"Five minutes."

"There's a way in which this isn't my fault." Willy
"Oh they tricked you."
"They were duplicitous." Willy
"Well then, I'll only kill you just this once."

From Surprise
"He may be a wanker, but he's the only one we've got with half a brain."

From Innocence
"Someone wasn't worthy." sings

From Passion
"You're supposed to kill her, not leave gag gifts in her friends' beds."

From I Only Have Eyes For You
"Big windows, lovely gardens. It'll be perfect when we want the sunlight to kill us."

"I just love to see you smile, buddy." Angel
"Yeah. You're a giver."

"Our man Angel here likes to talk, but he's not much for action. All hat and no cat."

"They say when you've drawn blood, you've exfoliated."

From Becoming ...
"You can see all that in your head?" Angel
"No, you ninny, she read it in the morning paper."

"It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big."

"Let me guess, someone pulls out the sword ... the demon wakes up and wackiness ensues."

"Well my friends, we're about to make history ... end." Angel
["But I'm not your friend. I hate you and I want to kill you." Margarete channeling Spike]

~Someone wasn't worthy.~

"Hello cutie."

"What -- your mum doesn't know?"
"Know what?" Joyce
"That, uh, that I'm in a rock band. Yes, a rock band with Spike here." Buffy
"Right, she plays the ... triangle."
"Drums." Buffy
"Drums, yeah, she's hell on the old skins, you know."
"And, uh, what do you do?" Joyce
"Well, I sing."

"Hey, white flag here. I quit."

"You hit me with an axe once. Uh, 'Get the hell away from my daughter.'"

From Lovers Walk
"Ahhh!" Spike getting burned cuz he slept in the sun.

"He was up to all sorts of shenanigans last year. We had a world of fun trying to guess what he'd do next." the Mayor about Spike

"She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head, or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?"

"No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally. You got any of those little marshmallows?"

"Get out of here." Joyce
"Yeah. You're not invited."
"He'll kill us." Joyce
"Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don't breathe."

"You're a very bad man." to Angel

"When did you become all soul-having again? I thought you outgrew that."

"Oh God. I think I'm sobering up ... this is terrible."

"We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times. You know, he begged for mercy, and that only made her bite harder."

"The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other again like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave."

"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other until it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood -- blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

"Drusilla broke up with him." Willow about Spike
"Gee, and we'd all hoped those crazy kids would make it work." Xander

"Now, that was fun. Oh, don't tell me that wasn't fun. God! It's been so long since I had a decent spot of violence. Really puts things in perspective."

"I've been all wrongheaded about this - weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just got to be the man I was. The man she loved. I'm going to do what I should have done in the first place. I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again."

From The Harsh Light of Day
"[Dru] left him for a fungus demon. That's all he talks about most days." Harmony
"Harm! ... It isn't time yet."
"Yeah, but as soon as we have the Gem of Amara ... " Harmony
"Grrrr!!!!"

"Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?" Harmony
"No."
"Oh. Can I make him a vampire?" Harmony
"No. Wait. On second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well."

"The English guy is an old friend. And he's not supposed to drink and I saw him here you know in the land of the beer." Buffy about Spike
"Buffy, it's o.k. You did a good thing for your friend. Did, ah, you and he used to, uh, go out?" Parker
Hysterical laughter from Buffy

"I came back to Sunnydale for it [the Gem of Amara], a place that has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass."

"Love hurts baby."

"...Sun beaming down in a nice non-fatal way. It's very exciting. Can't wait to see if I freckle."

From In the Dark
Spike's ramble on what should be the conversation between DOTW (Damsel of the Week) and our HERO.

"Why? Because you're 'Angel, Vamp Detective' now?"

"I had a plan."
"You, a plan?" Angel
"A good plan, smart. Carefully laid out. But I got bored."

"Cordelia! You look smashing! Did you lose weight?"
"Yes. You know there's this great gym on -- Hey!" Cordelia

"This isn't over until one of us is a pile of dust, mate."

"Someone's having shish-kabob!" about Marcus skewering Angel

Angel screams. "Now that's music!"

"Where's Angel?" Doyle
"Tall brooding guy? Caveman brow?"

"Look out! Here comes Spike!"

From Wild at Heart
"ARGH!!"

From The Initiative
"I always worried what would happen when the bitch got funding."

"Piffle."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat."
"Really?" Willow
"Thought about it."
"When?" Willow
"Remember last year, you had on that fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?"
"I never would have guessed. You played the bloodlust kinda cool." Willow
"I hate being obvious. All fangy and rrrr. Takes the mystery out."

"You know this doesn't make you any less terrifying." Willow
"Don't patronize me."

From Pangs
"I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore."

"You won. You came in, and you killed them, and you took their land. That's what conquerers do. You don't see Caesar going around saying, 'I came, I conquered, but I feel really bad about it.'"

"Oh, leave that one [Xander]! He looks like he's ready to drop any minute, and I think I can eat someone if he's already dead."

From Something Blue
"Giles, make her stop!"

From Hush
"Sometimes I like to crumble the Weetabix in the blood. Gives it a little texture."
"Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you'll just have to pick it up yourself." Giles
"Sissy."

"Like I'd bite you anyway."
"Oh, you would!" Xander
"Not bloody likely."
"I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist, and delicious." Xander
"All right, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat."
"And don't you forget it!" Xander

From Doomed
"Buffy fights the forces of evil. You're just her groupies."

"That's right! I'm back and I'm a bloody animal! Yeah!"

"I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One, after all. Come on, vampires, grrrr, nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for... the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on!"

From A New Man
"No, you're speaking Feoral. I can speak Feoral."

From Primeval
"Spike's working for Adam?! After all we've done -- Nah, I can't even act surprised." Xander

From Real Me
"Best of luck. Let me know how this arch-villain thing works out for you."

From Out of My Mind
"It's blood! It's what I do!"

"Funny -- I got a proposition for you: what about knocking? Seems only fair since we vamps can't enter your flat without an invite, you could at least -- say look at those pretty pieces of paper!"

From No Place Like Home
"What are you doing here? Five words or less." Buffy
"Out for a walk ... bitch."

"You know, contrary to one's self-involved worldview, your house happens to be directly between parts and other parts of this town."

"Satisfied? You know, I really hope so 'cause God knows you need some satisfaction in life besides shagging Captain Cardboard and -- and I really never liked you anyway and -- and you have stupid hair."

From Fool for Love
"Were you born this big a pain in the ass?" Buffy
"What can I tell you, baby? I've always been bad."

"Lesson the first: A Slayer must always reach for her weapon. I've already got mine."

"Death is on your heels, baby. And sooner or later, it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it. Not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it."

From Shadow
"At least I've still got the attitude. What you got? Piercing glance?"

From Into the Woods
"As usual, I'm here to help you and I -- Are you naked under there?"

From Triangle
"I'm sure she's merrily slaying some pals of mine, having a grand old time."

" ... what the hell do you see in her?" Xander
"I know that look. A lot of people never really got Dru, you know."
"Well, she was insane." Xander

"Hey, watch it mate. sees troll On second thought, do what you like."

"Or maybe you could fight him." Xander
"Yeah, I could do that but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much."

From Checkpoint
"Heard of me, have you?"
"I did my thesis on you." Watcher-ette
"Did you now?" purrs

"You have to look after them." Buffy
"Well, that's a boatload of manly responsibility to come flying out of nowhere. What's the matter, Slayer, not feeling 100%?"
"No." Buffy
"They didn't put a chip in your head did they?"
"No." Buffy
"Be funny if they did --"
"Spike!"Buffy

"Don't make a lot of noise. Passions is coming on."
"Passions? Oh do you think Timmy is really dead?" Joyce
"Oh no no. She can just sew him back together. He's a doll, for God's sake."
"What about the wedding? I mean there's no way they're going to go through with that."Joyce

From Blood Ties
"Is that supposed to scare me?" Dawn
"A little tremble wouldn't hurt."

"You want to come steal some stuff?" Dawn
"Yeah, all right."

From Crush
"I feel safe with you." Dawn
hack, cough, spittle "Take that back!"

"Well I do beat him up a lot. For Spike, that's like third base." Buffy

"Argh! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?"

From I Was Made to Love You
"Oh dear, if looks could stake."

"You want me to leave, you can put your hands on my hot tight little body and make me."

From Intervention
"I'm not a monster."
"Yes. You are a monster. Vampires are monsters. They make monster movies about them." Xander
"Well, yeah, you got me there."

"[the Slayer] ... is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion victim ex-god like you."

From Tough Love
"I'm a vampire. I know somethin' about evil. You're not evil."
"Maybe... I'm not evil. But I don't think I can be good." Dawn
"Well, I'm not good, and I'm okay."

"You - so you're saying that a powerful and mightily pissed-off witch... was plannin' on going and spillin' herself a few pints of god blood until you, what, 'explained'?"

From The Gift
"Blood is life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going. Makes you warm. Makes you hard. Makes you other than dead. Course it's her blood."

"I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man. And that's... Get your stuff, I'll be here."

"Well, not exactly the St. Crispin's Day speech, was it?"
"We few... we happy few." Giles
"We band of buggered."

"Doesn't a fellow stay dead when you kill him?"
"Look who's talking." Doc

From Bargaining
"Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?"

"Sorry I questioned you, Spike. You know I admire your brain almost as much as your washboard abs." Buffybot saying what we all think about Spike

From Afterlife
"We'll take care of you."

"147 days yesterday. 148 days today. Except today doesn't count, does it."

"There are always consequences."

"Every night I save you."

From Flooded
"I knew I could get a grin."

From Life Serial
"You're a creature of the darkness, like me. Try on my world. See how good it feels."

"C'mon, someone's gotta stake me."
"Ill do it. What? You thought I was just gonna let that lie there?" Buffy

"And the only person I can even stand to be around is a neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker." Buffy
"Oh you saw the cheating did you?"

From All the Way
"Bell neck look in to it." Buffy
"Come with a nice leather collar, does it?"

"I was gonna pay for it! I mean, no, I was gonna nick it cuz thats what I do."

"Feel like a bit of a rough and tumble?"
"What?" Buffy
"Me, you, patrolling, hello?"
"Oh." Buffy

"So much easier to talk to when he wanted to kill me." Buffy

From Once More, with Feeling
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